A Mother's Love
by shortie990
Summary: Piper left Alex when she needed her the most, eight years ago. What happens when the same thing happens to Piper, will Alex be there to see her through it? Or will she give her a taste of her own medicine? Set sometime after season 1. Piper and Alex aren't together.
1. Chapter 1

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

This is just a little idea that came to me, which lead to this.

Piper left Alex when she needed her the most, eight years ago. What happens when the same thing happens to Piper, will Alex be there to see her through it? Or will she give her a taste of her own medicine?

Set sometime after season 1. Piper and Alex aren't together.

* * *

It was breakfast time at Litchfield as Piper waved good morning to Red behind the counter and retrieved her food tray from the Russian cook. Red just nodded her head in greeting to the blonde. It wasn't a very friendly greeting but it had become their routine. Both women had a deep respect for one another, now. They had a understanding.

Piper bit down on her lower lip as she turned her attention away from Red and scanned the already crowded cafeteria. She couldn't help but feel like a freshman in high school, who was trying to figure out where to sit.

Every morning it was the same, it seemed. She would stand off to the side, waiting until someone would call her name to join them. This morning was no different. Ever since returning from SHU, six months ago, she didn't know who she was or what to do with herself. She had always sat at the Suburbs' table. But since everything with Alex, she didn't go there anymore. She made sure to steer away from her. Respecting her former lover wishes to stay away.

"DANDELION!" called out Suzanne suddenly towards her from the table closest to the door.

Piper's eyes immediately shifted towards the call and smiled. Since returning to Litchfield, her and Suzanne had been on good terms. Crazy Eyes could see that Piper was trying to be a better person. Piper no longer wanted to be that mean person that Suzanne described her as being in their encounter in the washroom. Ever since, everything that had gone down with Pennsatucky, she had been trying to grow as a person. And not to only think about herself but others. She was trying to change and be a good person.

Suzanne was her only friend it seemed like sometimes to Piper. She still talked to Nicky and Morello. But it still felt awkward to her. Especially when she knew that Nicky and Alex where now involved with one another. She was still close with her old gang from the ghetto. Taystee, Poussey and Black Cindy would always have her back if there was trouble. Which now a days she tried to avoid whenever possible. She didn't go looking for it. She kept her head down or tried too at least. But no matter where Piper went, trouble just seemed to follow.

"Good morning Dandelion," greeted Suzanne warmly to Piper as she took the seat across from her. Her brown eyes gleamed with joy to see the woman.

"Good Morning Suzanne," greeted back Piper, returning the smile. The two women then began to eat their breakfast in silence, making conversation here and there. Their table was soon joined with Taystee and Black Cindy, who greeted both women warmly.

There was a half an hour left in breakfast when someone once again called out her name. This time it was a CO. "CHAPMAN, IN MY OFFICE NOW!" cried out Caputo as he appeared suddenly in the threshold of the cafeteria and locked eyes with Piper.

All conversation came to a stand still as everyone drew their attention to Piper and Caputo.

Piper did not argue with the officer as she nodded her head firmly in response before rising to her feet, her now empty food tray in her hands. She could feel everyone's eyes on her. Watching her every move as she disposed of her tray and made her way out of the room. She knew what everyone was thinking as she followed Caputo down the hallway.

What had Chapman done now? What sort of trouble had she gotten herself into?

Ever since she had attacked Pennsatucky on Christmas and spent sometime in the SHU, everyone thought of her as trouble. People were scared of her and her wild temper. It amazed her at times how people walked on egg shells around her, afraid to get on her bad side. She'd tired to tell people she was changed but no one seemed to take her serious. She had given up trying to convince people two weeks after her return to the prison. She figured they would believe what they wanted to believe. She didn't really mind however. It allowed her to keep to herself most of the day and do her own thing without having to worry about others bothering her.

* * *

Piper was silent as she took a seat across from Caputo's desk. Her blue eyes continued to stare at the officer in curiosity as to why she was here. He was her counsellor now. But she didn't need counselling at the moment. She was fine.

"How are you doing Chapman?" asked Caputo, a genuine concern in his voice, as his hazel eyes studied Piper's face.

"I'm good, Sir," she answered back in a soft but firm voice.

"Good. Good, glade to hear it," replied the CO after a brief moment had silence had passed between them. The office licked his lips slightly as he leaned back briefly in his chair. His eyes falling onto the surface of the desk before quickly looking back up at Piper.

"Why am I here sir?" asked Piper towards the older man. She was curious has to why he had called her into his office. She hadn't gotten into any recent trouble that she knew of.

Caputo's face soften slightly as he looked on at her with worry. He didn't know how to tell her the news. This wasn't in his job description, he thought to himself as he continued to think of how he should break the news to the blonde. He didn't usually do this for inmates. But Chapman was different. She was one of the good ones. Even after her time in the SHU. She was still one of the better inmates in the place or so he thought. Not that he had favourites or anything.

Letting out a sigh, he leaned into the desk. He thought about reaching out and taking her hand but decided against it and instead placed his hands firmly on top of the desk. "Chapman, I'm sorry I have to be the one to tell you this, but your father called this morning. Your mother has died," he delivered the news in one fluid motion like ripping off a bandage.

* * *

Piper felt weak in the knees as she stepped out of Caputo's office and leaned against the door. She could feel the tears in her eyes but she didn't dare to let them fall. Not yet that was. She hadn't said anything as Caputo had gone on to explain how her father had called just at the beginning of breakfast, asking to speak to her. However, that was against the rules. So he had taken a message instead for the inmate. Her father had explained to the CO that Piper's mother, Carol had died the previous night in a car crash. She had been hit head on by a drunk driver going the wrong way. Died instantly.

Caputo had gone on to explain how he would do his best to try to get her released temporarily from the prison to go to the funeral, which was suppose to be held in the next couple of days. But couldn't make any promises on the matter. Due to her previous stays in SHU, it was very unlikely she would be granted permission.

As she continued to lean against the door, trying to keep her emotion in tack, she didn't notice the sudden crowd of people spilling out from the cafeteria. Breakfast was now over and everyone was heading off to work. She could feel the questioning looks of her fellow inmates on her as they passed. Everyone was wondering what Caputo had wanted.

However, she ignored the looks as she suddenly lifted her head and rolled her shoulders back, immediately sticking of her chest a little.

"Everything okay, Dandelion?" came Suzanne's voice suddenly in her ear. The woman's usual wild eyes were calm and filled with compassion towards Piper. Piper wanted to smile and tell her it was. But she couldn't find her words. Everything was not okay. Piper just held Suzanne's gaze for a moment before looking away. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to prevent the hot tears from falling. She then felt the warmth of another on her hand.

Suzanne was holding her hand.

Suzanne squeezed Piper's hand with comfort for a moment before letting it go. "I will see you later, Dandelion," she whispered softly into Piper's ear before walking away. She could tell that Piper wanted to be alone.

Piper opened her eyes and watched as Suzanne walked down the remainder of the hallway before stepping into the utility closet to retrieve her mop and bucket. She hated to see her go. She prayed that Suzanne would come back to her and hold her hand again. She didn't want the woman's company in a romantic way but in a friendly way. She suddenly didn't want to be alone, anymore as reality came crashing down on her. Her mother had just died and she had no one to turn to for support. To help her through the mess of feelings she was suddenly overwhelmed with. Blinking her eyes rapidly, she continued to stare in the direction that Suzanne had gone in for a moment before heading in the opposite direction.

Piper should be headed to the library, where she now worked along side Taystee and Poussey. But she didn't. She couldn't face either of them at the moment. She couldn't face anyone for that matter. Her need to be alone once again returning as she walked down the now empty hallway towards her dorm, the suburbs. She hated her new dorm. After returning from the SHU, she'd had to re-enter the system once again. She'd hoped she would be placed back in her old dwellings, the ghetto. However, she hadn't been that fortunate.

She was grateful though that her bunk was across the room from Alex's, so she could easily avoid the dark haired woman on most days. They did have their run-ins every now and then but it was manageable. Both would just avert their eyes usually and keep on walking. Neither spoke a word. It was all coldness on either end. It was easier that way.

The dorm room was quiet and empty as Piper made her way to her bunk. It was there she kicked off her boots before curling up into a ball on the mattress. She slid one hand underneath the pillow, as the other reached for the flannel blanket, she had folded neatly just over an hour ago when she had a woken that morning. She pulled the blanket over her entire body, closing herself off to the world.

It was then and there she finally allowed herself to cry. The tears immediately began to fall down her cheeks and into the fabric of her uniform. Her body shook as she sobbed into the pillow.

She'd never had a close relationship with her mother. But at that moment it didn't seem to matter as the tears continued to come. She had still been her mother. The woman who had raised her. Fed her. Gave her a roof over her head. Growing up with Carol Chapman as her mother had been hard at times with her WASPy, judgmental ways. But there had been good times to. Summer's spent on the beach, building sand- castles on the cape. Friday Night Dinner's with the whole family around the table, well into her twenties. Carol had been a hard mother to please at times. But Piper loved her all the same. No matter how much she complained about the older woman at times. She loved her. And she knew, Carol had loved her too. Through the judgment and nick-picking of Piper's choses in life, her mother had loved her. And one way she had shown this love was by criticising her daughter. She had just wanted her to make the most of her life and not to waste it away, for you only live once. Carol Chapman had just wanted to see her children succeed in life.

Piper now knew that as she cried for her mother.

Yet another person had slipped through her fingers and out of her life for good.

* * *

Piper didn't know how long she had been there in her bunk but she assumed it had been a couple of hours as she felt someone place a hand on her shoulder and shake her gently. "Chapman," squeaked Lorna in a whisper towards her.

Piper pulled down the blanket from her face at the same time as she rolled onto her back and looked up at Morello.

"I just wanted to tell you, it's lunch time," continued on Lorna as she looked on at Piper with concern. The smaller woman had just stopped by the dorms to change her uniform shirt after spilling gravy on it, when she noticed Chapman lying in her bunk. She had been helping Red out in the kitchens. "Are you okay hun?" she asked, as she took in the redness of Piper's eyes. It was obvious she had been crying.

Piper just continued to stare at the other woman for a moment before breaking her face into a small smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Morello. Just..." her voice trailed off as she tried to find the right words. "I'm fine." she stated again. Her voice was firmer this time as Morello continued to look on at her with worry. Piper was not only trying to convince Lorna but herself as well.

"Yeah, sure. " replied Morello, a brief smile appearing on her face before she removed her hand which was still on Piper's shoulder and walked out of the bunk. She still needed to change her shirt and assumed that whatever Piper was dealing with, wanted sometime to make herself presentable before going to lunch.

Piper just lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling. She was counting backwards from 100. She was waiting until Morello was out of the room for good before going back to her cave underneath the blankets. She had no intention of getting up and going to lunch. She rather stay in her cave by herself.

"See yah there?" squeaked Morello, who had suddenly returned once again to Piper's bunk.

Piper sat immediately up at this and smiled warmly at her. "Yeah," she murmured as she made an attempt for one of her boots.

Morello gave Piper a long look before once again leaving her to be. Piper counted to ten, listening to Morello's footsteps walk down the row of bunks and out to the hallway. She then once again abandoned her boots on the floor and curled herself back onto the mattress. Her thoughts once again leaving Litchfield and wishing she was back home in Connecticut.

* * *

"Morello, why do you keep on watching the door?" asked Nicky towards her former lover. "Who are you looking for?" She was asking out of curiosity.

"Chapman," whispered Morello, her eyes looking into Nicky's for a second before drifting to the front of the cafeteria again.

"Why?" asked Nicky.

Morello just shrugged her shoulders in reply as she looked one last time at the door before dropping her attention onto her tray of food.

Nicky frowned slightly at Morello's sudden silence. But she knew why she had quickly dropped the topic of Chapman. Alex had just arrived at their table and was now seated beside Nicky.

"What did I miss?" asked Alex in her raspy voice. Her green eyes looking between Nicky and Morello and back. She could sense the two of them had been talking about something before she arrived. She was intrigued to hear what it was.

Nicky's brown eyes continued to bore into Morello, who's eyes were pleading with her not to say anything. However, Nicky still wanted to hear about Chapman. Nicky shifted her attention onto Alex for a second, "Well, before you arrived Vause, Morello here was watching out for Chapman's arrival." She held Alex's eye for a second before looking back over at Morello, who was blushing slightly. Ever since Christmas, Chapman had been a tough topic around Alex.

"Why?" asked Alex, who too was now staring upon Morello, waiting for an answer.

"My words exactly," commented Nicky, "Why are you so eager to see Chapman?"

A panicked look appeared on Lorna's face at that moment as she nervously looked into her mash potatoes on her tray.

"Look, Lorna, If you want to be friend with Pip... I mean Chapman, that's fine with me," spoke Alex as she continued to look on at Morello, who still avoiding her. Her voice was soft and gentle. She didn't want anyone to have to take sides on the matter. There was no Team Alex or Team Piper.

Morello cleared her throat as she once again looked up and met Alex's eye. She smiled slightly at her before looking over at Nicky, who was still waiting for an answer. "Look, Chapman's a nice girl. I'm just concerned about her, that's all," squeaked Morello, as she nervously began to play with her hands in her lap. "When I went in to the suburbs just before lunch to change my shirt, Chapman was there in her bunk. She looked like she had been crying or something. Her eyes were all red and puffy!" To get her point across, Morello lifted her hands and gestured to her own eyes. "I asked her if she was okay. She said she was fine but I don't think she was. She said I would see her at lunch."

Nicky nodded her head at Morello, before turning her attention to over her shoulder. She looked around the crowded cafeteria for any signs of the familiar blonde head. However, she came up empty. "Well, looks like she lied to ya. There is no sign of Chapman here," observed Nicky as she looked between Alex and Lorna before turning her attention to her food.

Alex, too a peered over her shoulder to see if Piper had shown up for lunch. She had long stopped carrying about her ex lover or so she tried to convince not only everyone else but herself too. A part of her would always care about Piper Chapman. They had too much history together, not too care.

"I wonder what she was so upset about," continued on Nicky in between mouthful of food.

"Caputo had called her into his office earlier today," pointed out Morello, her spirits some what uplifting. "Maybe she getting sent back to the SHU."

"Nah, if that as the case, she would be there by now. Probably has something to do with that fiance of her, Garry?" Nicky was now looking over at Alex, to confirm the name of Piper's fiance.

"Larry," corrected Alex to Nicky, giving her a brief look before rolling her eyes and turning her attention to untouched food tray. She was done talking about Piper and that stupid fiance of hers.

However, Nicky and Morello weren't done discussing it yet. As Alex continued to eat her lunch in silence, the two other women spent the remainder of the lunch period discussing possible ideas of why Piper would be crying in her bunk.

* * *

Piper felt both emotionally and physically exhausted as she sat up in her bunk. She figured she must had drifted off to sleep for a bit because it was much later in the day now as the others were returning back to the dorms from work. Rubbing the sleep away from her eyes, she let out a sigh. She slowly swung her legs over the side of the bed and reached for her boots. She figured she should at least make some sort of appearance that day.

Her legs felt weak as she stood up and began to leave the comforts of her bunk. She nervously bit down on her lower lip as she began to walk down the long row of bunks towards the door. She could hear the laughter of Nicky and Alex to her right but she didn't dare to look over at them. She could hear their conversation stop midway as she passed them but once again she kept on walking. She knew if she looked over at Alex she would surely lose it.

Piper kept her head down the whole time as she escaped through the doorway of the dorms and into the bathroom. She figured it must be around 5pm due to the emptiness of the bathroom as she stepped into it. She headed straight towards the nearest stall. She was glad that she was alone so that she could pee in privacy for once.

After Piper finished her business she flushed the toilet and headed towards the sinks. Her eyes briefly took in her appearance in the mirror. She looked like shit, she thought to herself as she took in the puffiness of her eyes. Her skin was red and patchy in places. Turning on the faucet, she splashed cold water onto her face. Washing away the tear tracks on her cheeks. She hoped that this would make her look some what decent and normal looking in front of everyone else for dinner was soon.

* * *

"Girl, we missed ya at work today. What happened to ya?" asked Poussey towards Piper as she took a seat across from her in the cafeteria. It was dinner time now.

Piper just shrugged her shoulders and made up some excuse that she hadn't been feeling well after breakfast.

Both Taystee and Poussey exchanged a look with one another at this. They didn't believe her. "Girl come on. Tell us the truth. What really happened? What did Caputo want?" asked Taystee as she leaned forward on the table and locked eyes with Piper. There was a look of genuine concern for Piper in the woman's eyes.

Piper held Taystee's look for a second before looking away. She could feel the tears returning. It felt like forever since she had someone looking out for her like Taystee and Poussey were now. They really did care about her well-being. "It's..." her voice trailed off as she tried to find her wording. She hadn't planned on telling anyone about her mom passing. She hadn't wanted the pity looks. But she found herself blurting out the words anyways, "My mom died."

And with that the flood gates had been opened once again. Piper found herself pushing away her tray as she leaned her elbows onto the table and buried her face into her hands. She felt someone wrap their arm around her shoulder and another place a comforting hand on her arm. She heard both Taystee and Poussey murmur smoothing words to her but she didn't bother to look up. She didn't want to see the pity looks on their faces, which she knew would be there.

"Dandelion, what's wrong?" asked Suzanne as she arrived at the table.

Piper could hear briefly what Taystee was saying to Suzanne in reply but once again she did not lift her head to see.

* * *

So this was originally suppose to be a one-shot but it's gotten to long. So there will be a 2nd part. Thanks for reading and leave a review!

Julie


	2. Chapter 2

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

Thanks so much for the reviews and follows the last chapter got. I hope you all continue to support this story after this chapter. I have decided to make this a longer series then just two parts. It will probably be about five chapters now.

I made up the first name of Piper's father in this chapter. Also Smith is a creation of my own.

Enjoy.

* * *

Piper was the first in line for the phones. She desperately needed to talk to someone on the outside. She reached for the receiver of the payphone and pressed it against her ear and shoulder, at the same time as she dialled the first phone number she ever memorized as a kid.

The phone rang three times before someone on the other end picked up.

"Piper."

"Daddy."

Piper could feel the tears stinging at the back of her eyes, threatening to fall as she heard her father's voice for the first time in months. Her father had yet to visit her at prison. Her mother always said that it hurt him to much knowing that she was locked up in prison and didn't want to see her like this. Piper who had always had a better relationship with her father then her mother, had been hurt to hear this. But like father like daughter, both were good at leaving when things got a little too rough for their liking.

"I miss you," she whispered into the phone. Her voice was low and soft like a child spending the night away from home for the first time. Her heart all the sudden filled with loneliness. She wished suddenly, longingly to be back at her parent's house in Connecticut. To be back in her childhood room with its bubble-gum pink walls and horse riding medals.

"I miss you too, Pippi," replied back Richard Chapman to his daughter.

Piper chewed down on the inside of her cheek at being called her childhood nickname. She was determined to get through this phone call without breaking down. Not only for her own sake but for her father's as well. She knew this phone call was just as hard for him as it was for hers.

* * *

Her movements were slow and zombie like as she walked towards her bunk. She was lost in her own world. Ever since hanging up with her father, she had been feeling home sick. Not for her apartment, she had shared with Larry for three years but for the home that no matter where she went in the world, would always be her true home. Her childhood home. She had lived there until she was 18 before going off to Smith. At the time, she had been more then ready to leave the three story Tudor house. But after a week into classes, she had been over come with homesickness. Just like she was now.

Piper threw herself onto her bed and buried her face into the pillow. Ignoring the looks that her bunkmate was giving her at her strange behaviour.

"I wouldn't get too comfortable, Chapman if I were you," spoke Smith, Piper's bunkmate. She was a young woman in her early twenties with long red hair. "Count is soon."

Piper lifted her head off of her pillow and glared at Smith. When Piper had first been assigned to share a bunk with Smith, she had thought that they would get along with one another. But she was quickly finding out that wasn't the case. Smith like Piper had gone to college and fallen in love with a drug importer. They had shared a similar story to why they were in prison. However, that's were the similarities ended.

Piper didn't say anything as she sat up in the bed and proceeded to untie the laces of her boots. She could hear murmurs of conversation through out the dorm but she tried not to listen to carefully.

Smith just continued to look on at her for a second longer before shrugging her shoulders and going back to her book.

And just like her bunkmate had pointed out, the red light soon turned on. Indicating that count was about to begin. Piper ignored the smug look on Smith's face as she closed her book with satisfaction as she scooted off of her bed and went to go stand by the entrance of the bunk. Piper, who wasn't so eager, slowly rose to her feet and made her way out of the bunk. It was times like these, she wished she had Miss. Claudette back as her bunkmate. The two of them had started off on rough footing but by the end, they had come to a understanding of sorts. Smith had been her roommate for over three months now and they still didn't understand one another. Piper didn't think they would ever.

Piper folded her arms over her chest and leaned against the white brick half wall of the bunk as they waited for the CO to come by. Her eyes drifted slightly towards where Alex's and Taylor's bunk was. Luckily, Alex did not notice her gaze.

After hearing about her mother, she couldn't seem to get Alex out of her head. Not in a romantic way but how she had left Alex all those years ago. Abandoning her, when she probably needed her the most. Back then, she couldn't really understand Alex's pain. But now, she could for she was going through her own pain now. She still felt guilty about how she'd ended things so abruptly with Alex, all those years ago now. Piper had never seen Alex so vulnerable, so lost then she had been on that day when she'd stormed out of their Paris apartment.

She desperately felt like talking to Alex about losing her mother. She desperately wanted to ask her, how one got over this kind of pain she was feeling? But no matter how much she wanted to, she knew that she wouldn't. Alex had told her to never come to her again. And she had stayed true to that so far by not talking or going to the raven hair beauty for anything.

She did hope that one day, Alex would forgive her and that they could start being friends again. But she didn't see that happening anytime soon.

Piper quickly dropped her gaze onto the floor when she noticed the familiar green eyes appearing back at her from across the dorm. She could feel herself blushing slightly at being caught. She didn't dare to look in Alex's direction again for the rest of the count. As soon as the CO had given the clear. Piper once again return back to her bed. She quickly stripped herself down to her bra and granny panties without modesty and reached for the gray cotton nightgown that hung like a potato sack off of her thin frame. She then folded her uniform and lay it neatly on the little end table at the end of the bed before crawling onto the mattress. Just like she had been taught when she had first arrived in Litchfield.

Pulling the blanket up and over her head, she turned her back to Smith and faced the wall. She closed her eyes and hoped that sleep would come to her.

* * *

It was Saturday.

Piper decided to eat her breakfast alone that morning.

She hadn't gotten very much sleep from the previous night. She had been up most of the night, after having dreamt about her mother. The dream had started like most of her dreams started off now since Christmas. She is standing outside in the snow, trying to calm herself down, when Pennsatucky appears. It would play out the same way, with her claiming to be an angel of God and such. But it wasn't until Piper threw the first punch, and attacked her that things went different. It wouldn't be Pennsatucky she was attacking but someone she was close to. It use to be Alex. But last night she had dreamt it was her mother face she was pounding into the snow. After seeing her mother bleeding in the snow like that, she had woken up in a cold sweat, tears streaming down her face. The image had been so vivid.

It had taken Piper a moment after awaking to realise she hadn't been the one to kill her mother. Some drunk driver had.

She nibbled at her food on her tray but wasn't feeling that hungry. Thoughts were swirling in her mind that she couldn't shake. She kept on thinking about how her mother's was visiting that day. How her mother was going to make a fuss about her appearance. How she would suggest that she sleep with a cold washcloth on her face to reduce the dark circle underneath her eyes. How she should really eat more, she was looking a little thin.

These thoughts went on for a bit longer before reality once again set in. No, her mother wasn't visiting today because she was dead. No, her mother wouldn't make a fuss on what she looked like because she was dead. Tear brimmed her eyes as these thoughts continued to play out in her mind.

She would never see her mother again.

Carol Chapman would never grace Litchfield with her appearance again on Saturdays.

Dropping her head, she cried into her eggs.

* * *

The last time she had seen her mother had been last Saturday. Her mother had come with Polly to visit. Piper had barely talked to her mother. Her mother had been more interested in hearing about Baby Finn, then Piper's life in prison.

Piper now wished she could go back in time and tell her mother how much she loved her. And to maybe attempt to have an actual conversation with the woman who had birthed her, instead of barely listening to her as she went onto talk about her brother, Cal's wedding plans. And how she had been trying to convince that hippie of a fiancé of his to get married at the country club, instead of in the woods.

Like everything in Piper's life, she was having regrets.

"What no visitors for you today, Chapman?" asked Nicky as she came to stand beside Piper, who was glaring through the window that looked into the visitation room.

Piper turned her attention to Nicky at this and just shrugged. She didn't want to get into it, especially with Nicky. She knew that Nicky didn't get alone with her mother and had always held it against Piper that she took her mother's weekly visits for granted when other weren't so lucky.

"What did you and Mummy Dear get into a fight or something?" asked Nicky, teasing her slightly. There was a smirk on the other woman face as she looked up at Piper, waiting for her sly remark. However, Piper disappointed her.

The blonde just stared at Nicky for a second, sudden tears filling her eyes before she looked quickly away and into the visitation room again. "Just fuck off, Nicky!" spat Piper, trying to mask the sudden emotion she could feel rising up her throat. She then turned on her heel and abruptly began to walk down the hallway. Leaving Nicky standing there dumbfound over what had just happened.

"What the fuck?" murmured Nicky to herself as she continued to watch Piper walked down the hallway before disappearing down a corner and out of sight.

* * *

Piper leaned back against the fence of the prison yard. She had her tea and book in hand. It was Sunday now.

Two days since her mother had passed away. She was feeling a little better. Or as better as someone could feel after losing their mother.

But Piper was done with the Piper Pity Party. She was done crying like a baby in her bunk. She just needed to get back to life, or prison life for that matter. And that was what she was doing or trying to at least. There were only a handful of people that knew what she was going through. Taystee, Poussey, Black Cindy and Suzanne begin amongst them.

No one else knew about her mother's death. The others just thought she was going through her TOM or something. Some others, who didn't know she'd already broken off her engagement with Larry a while ago, thought that the loser had finally come to his senses and had dumped her ass. There were a few other rumours swirling around the prison mill but no one knew the truth.

Which she liked. She hated when there was a death in the family or someone fell ill that people started to suddenly care about you and your well being. She hated fake condolences. She rather have her space and be allowed to grief on her own. And that's why she had decided to sit as far away from the prison doors as she could. She took a sip from her weak lukewarm tea and watched as Watson ran passed her on the track. Twice a week, Piper would join her. But not on Sundays.

Crossing her legs, she turned her attention to the book in her other hand. It was Pippi Longstocking. A book she had grown up with as a little girl. This was a newer copy of her beloved childhood book but it still brought a smile on her face seeing it now. Opening up to the first page, she couldn't help but smile at the small description that was written in the familiar cursive handwriting of her mother -_Piper, your father wanted you to have this. -Mom_

It was short and simple and to the point. Just like most of her mother's notes were.

Tears immediately filled her eyes, that she did not attempt to wipe away as she continued to stare at the looped handwriting. Penmanship had always been some thing of importance to her mother.

As tears continued to stream down her face, she began to read from the first page. Growing up, her nanny had read to her from it. And ever since then, she had demanded to wear her hair in braids and be called Pippi. She had wanted to be Pippi Longstocking. She had wanted to have Pippi's strength. She had wanted to have adventure's like Pippi.

Her mother hadn't liked it. But her father had allowed her to play out of fantasy. He had called her Pippi. And since then it had been his nickname for her.

And it was there she stayed for the rest of the morning, once again getting lost in Pippi's adventures like she was seven again, until the bell for lunch sounded.

* * *

"I heard about you mom," spoke Sophia softly, as she met Piper's eye in the mirror. "I'm so sorry."

Piper locked eyes with the other woman and gave her a sad smile, "Thanks." She whispered in reply. She didn't know how Sophia had found out but she was pretty sure that almost everyone in the ghetto knew. Especially since Taystee and Poussey wheren't known to keep their mouths shut.

Sophia placed a comforting hand on Piper's shoulder, giving it a compassionate squeeze before letting it go. Piper then watched her from the mirror as she moved around the small room that was a make-shift hair salon. She had her back to the blonde for a second as she reached for a folded gown before placing it around her shoulders and doing it up at the neck.

"Come to the sinks, Sweetie and let me work some magic," Sophia voice was soft and gentle as she motioned for Piper to take a seat at the near by sink. Piper didn't say anything as she stood up and walked the short distance to the sink. Taking a seat on the plushed chair, she leaned back and rested her hair against the edge of the sink. This was always her favourite thing about getting her hair done. She loved to get it washed. She loved the feeling of someone else massaging her scalp and washing her hair. It was always a relaxing experience for her. And she had been looking forward to it all week. And now with her mother's passing, it was exactly what she needed.

"Just relax and try to enjoy," spoke Sophia as her face hovered over Piper's for a brief second before Piper felt the sensation of hot water on the back of her head. A feeling of warmth spread over her suddenly as she closed her eyes and let out a breath, she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

As she felt Sophia run her long fingers through the tangles of her wet hair and gently gather the hair together before letting it fall at her neck, tears streamed down Piper's face. This wasn't the first time she had let her self cry in Sophia's chair. The woman's touch just brought something out of her that she couldn't describe. There was so much care and compassion in Sophia's hands. Piper could really tell that she loved to do this. She took pride in her work.

As Sophia continued to wash her hair, Piper thought of her mother. The Chapman Family wasn't good with expressing their feelings to one another. And weren't close to being a touchy family. Only giving hugs and cold kisses on cheeks on most major holidays and birthdays. However, Piper could remember her mother caring touch on her head when she did her hair, just like Sophia had been doing now. Every night before Piper went to bed as a little girl, her mother would sit on her bed and brush out her hair. Piper had made a big fuss about it at the time, complaining her mother was hurting her as she brushed out a knot or two. But she had secretly loved it.

And before she knew it, Piper was babbling about her mother to Sophia. She didn't know if it had to do with the woman's motherly touch on her or that she hadn't really spoken out loud about her mother to anyone. But for some reason or another, Piper found herself spilling out her secrets.

"I'd never really been close with my mother. I can't say that I ever really felt abandoned by her as a child. But we didn't have a deep bond with each other either. We existed together, I guess you could say," spoke Piper out loud. She was now back in the barber chair, facing the mirror as Sophia parted her hair in the centre. Sophia nodded her head in understanding as she listen to Piper talk about her mother.

"There were moments that I hated her and moments that I loved her to death... She was my _mom_," she sobbed, sudden emotion filling her voice as she brushed a few tears away from her eyes. "She wasn't the most caring mother to have growing up. But she did what she thought was best for us. She raised me and my brothers with a firm hand. Just like she had been raised. There were great exceptions to be filled. Certain things that I was responsible for. My mother only ever wanted for her children to succeed in life..." Piper's voice trailed off slightly as she met Sophia's eye in the mirror and blushed with embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I'm babbling. You could careless about my childhood."

"It's fine hun," replied Sophia as she reached for a comb on the little table against the wall and began to gently comb out Piper's wet hair, "I understand. When you lose a parent, it makes you think about every little thing they did and how it affected you. The good and the bad. But when it comes down to it, they were still your parent. And you can't change that."

A comforting silence then fell onto the two women as Sophia began to cut at Piper's dead ends. A few good moments passed before Piper broke the silence. "Can I ask you something?" she once again met Sophia's eye in the mirror. Piper was shyly biting down on her bottom lip.

"Shoot," replied Sophia.

"Have you ever lost a parent?" Piper didn't want to be rude but she was curious to know. She desperately wanted to know how one got over the grief and pain that she was feeling presently in her. People, she loved had died before but this was a new type of pain, she wasn't equipped to deal with. In away, it was even worse then when she had lost Alex. And she had thought that had been rough to handle. With Alex, yes she wasn't a part of her daily life. But she still saw her now and then and knew she was around. She just couldn't have her. But with her mother, it was different. Piper knew she would never see her again. Would never be able to call her up out of the blue to ask for something? Would never be on the other end of one of her mother's judgmental looks. Would never be able to feel her mother's arms around herself and pretend for a second she was five again before pulling away. Would never be able to smell her mother's perfume on her cloths, hours after she visited.

Sophia didn't meet Piper's eyes off the bat at this question. The older woman just licked her lips and focused on cutting Piper's hair before answering after a moment, "Yes, both of them."

"How did you get through it? Because, I surely don't know how to deal with this sort of pain?" Piper voice was small and childlike as she suddenly turned her head and locked eyes with Sophia. Her face was a mixture of emotion as she continued to stare at Sophia with desperation. She needed to know how one got passed this. How one moved on.

"There is no real secret I can share," whispered Sophia, sadly. Her heart went out to Piper. She knew exactly what the girl was feeling at that moment. And she wished there was something she could tell Piper to do to numb the pain and loss that came with losing a loved one. But there wasn't. Everyone dealt with grief and death differently. Some would mourn for a day and then move on like that, pretending nothing happened. Some would wallow for months on end, years even. The pain never really went away. You just kinda got use to it and got good at ignoring the hole in your heart. "You just have to deal with it in your own way and hope things get better."

This was not the answer that Piper had wanted and it was written all over her face but she didn't say anything else on the matter. She nodded her head in reply to Sophia before turning her attention back onto her reflection in the mirror.

"I remember when I lost my mom. I had cried like a little girl on end for days. And back then, I had been a man still, so it had been a lot," Sophia chuckled slightly at her little joke. "Michael had just been born. I remember going through these roller coasters of emotions. I would be extremely sad one second, to extremely pissed off and anger towards my mom, the next. I had been mad at her for leaving so soon. For leaving not only me behind but her grandson. She had always wanted one. And now that she had one, she had just had the nerve to die. Like she had been given some sort of chose to leave or to die? Like she had chosen to have a heart attack in her sleep! I had blamed her. I had been anger that she had left me. I had needed her more then ever at that moment and she had left. But then I would feel guilty and the sadness would return once again."

The room was silent after this except for the snipping of scissors as Sophia continued to cut away at Piper's ends.

Just as Sophia was finishing up on layering Piper's hair, there was a knock on the salon door before a tall figured appeared into the room. It was her next appointment. Sophia looked up at this and motioned for the woman to come in. "Take a seat," she spoke warmly, gesturing towards the empty barber chair beside Piper's. "I'm almost done with Chapman here."

Piper looked up at this and stared at the figure in the mirror. Her heart seemed to skip a beat like it always did when she was in Alex's presence.

Alex, too seemed to be a little taken back by seeing Piper there. The older woman had one eyebrow raised as she locked eyes briefly with Piper in the mirror. Alex then suddenly bit down on her lower lip as she quickly glanced over her shoulder and towards the hallway. She was debating whether to stay or not. She was in desperate need of a cut and wash by Sophia. But her body and heart were screaming for her to run away. Taking a deep breath, she hovered in the threshold of the room for a moment longer before finally deciding to stick it out.

No one seemed to say a word as Alex slowly walked to the empty station and took a seat in the barber chair. She didn't dare to look at Piper.

Sophia, knew something had gone down between Vause and Chapman and that they weren't together anymore. She didn't know the details though and didn't really care. It wasn't her business what had gone on between two fellow intimates. She could tell that whatever it had been though, it had been _something. _Not just the usual lesbian hook up that happened in women prison. But something deeper. Something real.

The hairdresser also knew that Piper was going through a rough patch in her life and could use a friend. She could also tell that no matter what Vause said, she still cared deeply for the blonde. And would want to know what Piper was going through and maybe be there for her too. Testing this theory of hers, Sophia casually let the cat out of the bag.

"Me and Chapman were talking about the death's of parents," spoke Sophia, causally glancing between the two woman, who were looking anywhere but each other. "Have you ever lost a parent, Vause?" She asked, looking directly over at Alex now as she brushed out Piper's now dry clean hair.

Alex was silent for a moment as she looked passed Sophia and quickly over at Piper through the corner of her eye, before dropping her gaze into her lap, "Yeah, My mom." Alex's voice was firm but low as she spoke. She was suddenly overcome with sadness like she always was when she thought about her mother. She missed her terribly.

A wave of guilt washed over Piper as she listen to Alex speak of her own mother's passing. Piper could feel the tears sting her eyes suddenly at this. She didn't dare to look over at Alex, for she would surely lose it. She bit down on her lower lip, thinking hard for a moment before she was up on her feet and stepping away from Sophia at the same time as she undid the clasp of the gown. "Thank you, Sophia for...everything but.. I..I..got to go.." she whispered quickly as she pushed the black gown into Sophia's hands before running out of the room.

Both Alex and Sophia were shocked by her sudden departure.

"PIPER!" called out Alex towards her ex. She hadn't meant for her to get upset and leave. She had just been answering Sophia's question. She hadn't wanted to upset the blonde. She'd was just being honest.

However, her cries did not use. Piper wasn't coming back. Letting out a sigh, Alex slumped herself back into her seat and nervously adjust her glasses on the bride of her nose. Her green eyes stared intensely at her refection in the mirror. _Nice going, Vause_ she thought bitterly to herself.

"Poor thing," whispered Sophia as she turned her attention now onto Alex and took the gown that Piper had just been wearing and draped it over Alex's shoulders. "It's been a rough couple of days for her. Her mom just passed away."

Alex, locked eyes with Sophia's in the mirror at this. A shocked expression appeared on her face at this news. This was the first time she was hearing that Piper's mother had passed away.

Sophia couldn't help but smirk slightly at Alex's reaction. It only further confirmed her theory on the two ex lovers.

* * *

More to come soon! Please review letting me know how I did. Thanks for reading.

Julie


	3. Chapter 3

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

Thanks everyone for the reviews, follows and faves. Means a lot the support.

This is a little shorter chapter then the last two.

Enjoy!

* * *

"Woah, where's the fire Chapman?" called out Nicky as Piper bolted passed her in the hallway.

Piper ignored Nicky as she continued to speed walk down the hallway and headed towards the chapel. It was dark in there as Piper pushed opened the door and walked towards the front of the stage. The only light was coming from the sunlight pouring in through the stain glass windows, casting a rainbows of colours into the room.

Piper wasn't a religious person by far but she took comfort in the quiet chapel. She took a seat in the first row of seats and stared up at the stage. Growing up she hadn't gone to church much. Just on the odd Sunday or two and at Christmas and Easter. She had been raised Protestant but she didn't remember anything she had been taught. Her mother like a good Christian woman, had attended church every Sunday, like she had been taught as a child. That hadn't rubbed off on any of her children though. Neither, Piper or her brothers, Danny and Cal went to church after the age of 13. Her father, Richard hadn't been a big church goer either. It had just been her mother, for the most part who attended the local church every week.

As Piper, once again reflected on her childhood, she didn't hear or notice the chapel doors opening and someone coming inside.

She didn't bother to look over at the person. She just assumed it was Sister Ingalls or one of the Sunday church-goers. She hoped who ever it was, would leave her alone. She hoped it wasn't Doggett or any of her crew. She didn't have the strength at the moment to deal with one of them. However, she was wrong on all accounts.

"Hey, kid!"

Piper's head shot up immediately and over to where Alex was standing, just a few a feet away in the aisle. She stared at her in bewilderment. What was she doing here? she thought to herself.

Alex, smiled slightly back as Piper continued to stare at her in puzzlement. "What the _fuck_ do you want?" she asked after a moment of awkward silence passed between them. The surprise look was gone from her face and replaced with anger. Piper could only assume that Alex knew about her mother and had come to rub it into her face.

A look of hurt flashed across Alex's face but was quickly replaced by one out of concern. Piper had every right to be mad at the moment. Alex hadn't been invited. But that didn't stop the raven haired woman from trying.

Alex let out a deep breath as she nervously adjusted her glasses on the bridge of her nose. She wasn't afraid of Piper's temper. This wasn't her first time being on the other end of it. Usually she would have made some joke or sly remark, earning her a smile from Piper. But she knew that this wasn't the time for that. Piper was clearly upset and if what Sophia had told her early about her mother, she knew the pain she was going through at the moment. She just wanted to be there for Piper. For it was a scary thing to have to face alone.

"I heard about your mom," spoke Alex in a soft voice. She was hoping to some what open up the gates of conversation between them.

Piper narrowed her eyes at Alex. "So?"

"I'm sorry to hear about it. I know the pain you must be going through, Pipes," Alex's voice was soft and gentle as she took a small step towards where Piper was seated. "It sucks. It _fucking_ sucks ass." Her voice was filled with sudden emotion and her green eye moist, as sudden thoughts of her own mother's death appeared in her mind. However, she quickly brushed them away. This wasn't a time to bring up the past.

"Don't do that!" spat Piper in a cold voice towards the other woman. "Don't fucking do that!" Her blue eyes were dark and distance as she continue to stare up at Alex with rage.

Alex didn't say anything in reply as she raised an eyebrow in confusion. Her lips were pursed into a frown.

"Don't come in here, saying your sorry! when we both know you could _fucking_ careless about me and my mother!" Piper voice shook slightly as she continued to pour her anger out at Alex. "I know what your thinking Alex Vause! I know you are thinking to yourself that I got what I deserve! KARMA A _FUCKING_ ASS BITCH!"

Tears streamed down her face as she continued to look on at Alex for a second longer before rising to her feet suddenly and beginning to walk away. She couldn't deal with this at the moment. It hurt to much looking into green orbs. Her thin frame was shaking with rage. She needed to walk it off. However she didn't get very far before she felt Alex's hand on her wrist, stopping her in dead in her tracks.

Piper spun around at this and locked eyes with Alex. There faces were just a mere inches away from one another.

"What the fuck Vause?" asked Piper, as she wrenched her wrist away from Alex's hand. However, her skin burned from where the older woman had touched her. It felt like she had been shocked as she clenched her hand into a fist and cradled it in her other. She could feel old feelings stir deep inside but she quickly squished them away. Her eyes were burning with rage as she continued to stare at Alex, waiting for her answer. Why couldn't she just leave her the _fuck_ alone like everyone else?

Alex didn't say anything as she continued to look on at Piper's tear stained face. It broke the older woman's heart to see her like this. She just wanted to somehow to take the pain away from her. Her eyes never left Piper's face as she slowly brought up a hand and gently wiped away a stray tear on her cheek. "Let me help you, kid," she whispered in a tender voice, "Let me be your friend."

Piper's body immediately stiffened at Alex's soft touch on her skin. She could feel her eyes sting with fresh tears but she quickly blinked them away. Her eyes continued to dart back and forth, searching Alex's face for an answer. What did she really want? she thought to herself. Butterflies fluttered nervously in the pit of her stomach as the two women continued to stand inches apart. The rage had lifted off of her shoulders and was replaced with sudden exhaustion and nerves. She was tired from this rollercoaster of emotions she was going through. Her breathing was laboured slightly as she tried to figure out her thoughts. A part of her wanted to let Alex in and help her. But another didn't want to give in to temptation. Piper chewed on her lower lip before replying in a low whisper, "We were never friends." Her voice was bitter and sad sounding at the same time. It was the truth. Even Alex had told her that. They had never been friends. Only lovers.

She held Alex's eye for a second longer, an apologist look appearing on her face before taking a small step away from her.

Alex let her go this time.

Piper could feel her eyes on her as she left but she didn't look back. She held a hand to her mouth, muffling her cries as a wave of emotion hit her. She bolted out of the side doors of the chapel and into the hallway.

"CHAPMAN, NO RUNNING!" cried out Caputo to Piper as she stumbled into the hallway and began to run pass the CO, who was just exiting his office.

Piper didn't say anything in reply as she slowed her pace and walked passed the CO. She kept her head down as she continued on her way down the hallway. She was headed towards the grounds.

She needed air.

Her whole body felt like it was going to burst any moment at the mixture of emotion coursing through her body. Her heart felt like it was breaking all over again over Alex. Over the loss of her mother.

She let out a small yelp as she pushed opened the door and was greeted by a wave of fresh air. She walked as far as her legs would allow before they gave out from underneath her and fell onto all fours. She was gasping for air by that point as sobs rocked her frame. Her lungs felt like they were on fire. It felt like she had just run a marathon, instead of the short distance from the chapel. Her vision blurred with tears. She didn't try to hold anything back as she cried like a baby.

Piper couldn't hear anything over the sounds of her cries. She was too lost in her own world, that she didn't realize she had been followed.

She felt someone's hand on her lower back suddenly, rubbing comforting circles into it. The touch felt both familiar and foreign to her. She desperately wanted to see who it was but before she could turn her head, she got her answer.

"Dandelion," whispered Suzanne into her ear. At hearing Crazy Eyes' voice, Piper cried even harder, this time in disappointment. A part of her had been wishing it had been Alex who followed from the chapel.

* * *

Okay, I know that probably not what everyone was expecting or wanting. But I promise that there will be more Alex and Piper talking in the next chapter. :)

Thanks for reading and please review!

Julie


	4. Chapter 4

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

Not to happy with this chapter but here it is anyways. Let me know what you think in a review!

Enjoy!

* * *

Piper felt like a slobbery mess as she rubbed the back of her hand against her runny nose. After her complete break down in the grounds, she was returning to her bunk to retrieve her bathroom stuff. She was in need of a quick shower before dinner.

Piper just wanted to get clean and wash this Sunday off of her.

However, she wasn't very lucky. As Piper entered the suburbs' bathroom, she was caught off guard by the two figures in the room. Nicky and Alex were standing close together by the sinks. Just the sight of them brought an uneasy feeling over her but she quickly swallowed it down.

Piper closed her eyes and let out a deep breath before taking a step further into the room. Neither of the two woman had noticed her presence yet as they continued to laugh at the some private joke. Piper tried to walk pass them but found her path to the showers blocked. Not wanting to raise attention to herself, she tried to squeeze in between the small space between one of the bathroom stalls and Nicky.

However at that moment, Nicky took a step back, making contact with Piper. Nicky turned her head and glanced at her. "Chapman! what's up?" spoke the woman warmly to her.

Piper was startled at this. She clenched her clear bathroom bag and towel to her chest as she continued to look on at Nicky. She didn't dare to look over at Alex, who's eyes she could feel burning into her cheek. Her eyes searched for any information on Nicky's face to see if Alex had told her about what had happened at Sophia's and the chapel.

Nicky wasn't looking at her with pity though. She was wearing the expression she always wore on, a smug amused look as she continued to look on at Piper.

"Nothing, much," murmured Piper in response. She closed her eyes briefly, hoping that this encounter would end soon. Her eyes were moist as she reopened them and looked at Alex through the corner of her eye.

Alex was staring back at Piper with the same look she had in the chapel. She just wanted to help Piper through her difficulty. She still cared deeply for the her, despite what she had said months ago. "Pipes," she whispered reaching out and touching the crook of her arm. She didn't understand why Piper was fighting her so much on this. Piper clearly needed a friend. She wanted to be that friend.

Piper jumped back from Alex's touch. "Don't!" she whispered harshly towards her ex.

"Woah! what the fuck is going on here?" asked Nicky in confusion as she looked between the two woman. She hadn't known they had been talking again.

Both women ignored her though. Alex continued to stare at Piper with sympathy. She desperately wanted to take her in her arms and hold her. But she knew that was not what Piper wanted.

"Fuck off Nichols," spat Piper as she once again turned her attention onto Nicky. She was tired of everyone stepping into her business. She didn't understand why people couldn't just leave her alone for once. She then pushed pass both Nicky and Alex and headed towards the showers.

"What the hell is up with Chapman?" asked Nicky as she turned her attention to Alex, who eyes were still on Piper as she turned the corner of the bathroom.

"It's..." Alex opened her mouth to say something but decided against it, "Nothing. Just drop it, Nicky." Alex's green eyes continued to stare in the direction that Piper had gone in, before pushing her glasses up on top of her head and rubbing her eyes.

"Man, people are crabby today," observed Nicky as she continued to look on at Alex. "What did you and Chapman start your periods today or something?" A sly look appeared on Nicky's face at this. She didn't like the sudden tension between her and Vause.

Alex placed her glasses back on the bridge of her nose and glared at her friend for a second. "Fuck off," she tried to be pissed off at Nicky but she found her anger withering away. She smirked at Nicky, lightly pushing her in the arm.

"Ouch!" cried Nicky in a mock tune, pretending that Alex's punch had hurt as she rubbed at the spot on her arm.

Alex just rolled her eyes at Nicky's dramatics. "Come on, dinner will be starting soon," her voice was low as she motioned for Nicky to follow her out of the bathroom. She could hear the sound of running water from the shower but she chose to ignore. Piper clearly wasn't ready to talk to her yet.

* * *

Piper could feel the tension leave her body as she stood underneath the shower head and allowed the spray of the water to calm her. She had always loved showers and bathes. No matter the time of day. They always seemed to help clear her mind and settle her thoughts. She wished she could stay here forever.

But she knew that wouldn't be possible. She would eventually have to get out and face everyone else again, especially Alex at dinner. She was most dreading that. She didn't understand why Alex ,all the sudden thought she could be her friend or wanted to for that matter. Just because her mother died? Alex had never met Carol Chapman. So why would she care now about her passing? She hated fake condolences.

And Alex wasn't her binky. She could get through this on her own.

* * *

Piper, once again took her food tray from Red, giving the Russian a small smile before turning her back.

Her blue eyes briefly scanned across the room before settling onto the table, where Taystee and her old crew were at. She could feel a certain brunette's eyes on her but she ignored it. Just because her mother had died. It didn't change anything between her and Alex.

"Yo Girl!" cried Taystee in a warm greeting towards Piper as she took a seat across from her former bunkmate.

"Hi," greeted back Piper in a small voice. She gave Taystee a small smile as the woman continue to stare at her with concern.

Piper ate her dinner in silence. She nodded her head, here and there at the others' conversation at the table. But she didn't have the heart to join in.

"Did ya 'ear about the funeral yet?" asked Taystee, drawing Piper out of her thoughts.

Piper looked up and met Taystee's eye at this. She shook her head sadly from side to side. "Nope," she said in a low voice. There had been no word yet from Caputo if she would be able to get permission to attend her mother's funeral. She hoped that she would be able to. But deep down inside she had a feeling that she wouldn't.

Taystee didn't say anything as she continued to look at Piper with sympathy. Who would had thought that the nice white girl, who went to college and had everything going for her, would have every worse possible situation thrown at her while in prison? Piper had already been sent twice to the SHU. She had almost beaten an inmate to death. Had death threats thrown into her face. Got extra time added to her sentence. Had to deal with her ex almost everyday. And now, her mother had died. The world worked in a mess up way sometimes, thought Taystee to herself as she continued to gaze on at Piper. "Maybe somethin' will work out," spoke Taystee, trying to sound optimistic.

Piper just shrugged her shoulders at this, "Maybe," she replied.

* * *

"So are you going to tell me what's going on between you and Chapman?" asked Nicky in a low voice towards Alex. She was leaning forward slightly over the table, making sure the other's didn't hear her. She wasn't jealous or anything. Just curious. The two friend had had a short affair together after Christmas but it hadn't lasted for long. Alex was still deeply hung up over Piper and she with Lorna. They both had agreed to end their fucking before it got too messy.

Alex's head immediately snapped up at this and stared across the table at Nicky. She knew it wasn't any of Nicky's business. But a part of her wanted to confined in her friend. Alex pursed her lips and just shrugged her shoulders. "What's there to tell? Nothing is going on," she replied casually, choosing to keep Piper's secret to herself.

"You're shitting right?" replied Nicky, in disbelief. There was something totally going on between her and Chapman. There'd defiantly been a moment between the two in the bathrooms, earlier. "Your fucking going to sit there Vause and tell me, there wasn't a moment between you and Chapman back in the bathroom?"

Alex just glared coldly at Nicky before ignoring her all together. "There was no moment," she murmured before beginning to shove food into her mouth. Letting Nicky know that the topic of Piper was to be dropped.

Nicky just continued to stare at Alex for a second before rolling her eyes and beginning to eat her own dinner. She wasn't done with Vause yet. She knew what she saw. And she was going to get to the bottom of it.

* * *

Piper found herself in the library.

It was just after dinner now. She had gone to talk to Caputo after dinner, to see if he had gotten any news on whether or not she could go to her mother's funeral at the end of the week. However, Caputo was off duty for the day. He wouldn't be in until tomorrow sometime.

Ever since Taystee had brought up her mother's funeral. It was all Piper could think about now. She couldn't shake the idea that she'd a chance to escape from prison, just for a day and see her family again outside the visitation room. Even if it was for a funeral. It would at least be something.

She picked up a random book off of the shelf before going to take a seat in between the stacks. She wanted to hide from the other inmates for the rest of the night. Sunday nights at the library were usually quiet. Everyone usually gathered in the TV room for movie night.

She tired to concentrate on the words on the page but her brain had seemed to lost the ability to comprehend words into sentences. She kept on thinking about her early encounter with Alex in the chapel. At the time she had thought that Alex had just come to mock her and rub it in her face. But now she wasn't so sure. Alex had seemed genuine in her actions. That she had truly wanted to help her. Maybe she was trying to be there for her as a friend?

Piper felt like screaming at this. She didn't know what to think of anything, anymore.

A sudden feeling then overwhelmed her.

She wanted her mom.

And one by one, like that, the dame was broken and the tears began to fall. Her sobs violently shook her shoulder as she buried her face into her hands.

Just then someone came into the library. Piper immediately froze at this. She hoped who ever it was, would go away and quickly. She took a couple of deep breaths to study herself as she continued to listen to the person in the room.

Tears still streamed down her face but she was calmer now. Her body no longer shook. Bringing her knees up to her chest, she hid her face into the book, pretending to be reading as she heard the sound of footsteps approach her.

She knew it was Alex, even before she said a word. Piper could feel her heart rate pick up but she didn't dare to look up at the other woman, who was now standing over her. She prayed that Alex would once again, get the message and leave her alone.

However, Alex Vause did the opposite of that.

Alex didn't say anything as she sat herself down on the floor next to Piper. She'd a good feeling that she would be able to find her here. Neither spoke a word as Alex continued to look on at Piper, who was looking anywhere but Alex's face. They stayed like this for a good moment or two. Alex's green eyes bore into Piper's skin like laser beams. She desperately wanted to look into Piper's eyes. She wanted Piper to know that she was here for her, all bullshit a side. However, Piper continued to look away and onto the book.

Piper knew, she wouldn't be able to last very long like this. She could already feel a fresh set of tears stinging her eyes. She was finding it hard to keep her walls up. She was failing and she knew it. She bit down hard on the inside of her cheek, preventing the sob that was enclosed in her throat from escaping. She tried to focus her eyes on the words on the page but it all blurred as one. Piper squeezed her eyes shut, trying to keep the tears from falling but it did no use. It only seemed to make them fall quicker and faster down her cheeks. The book dropped suddenly from her hands at this and to the floor. Her walls of restraint and composure crumbled like dust as she allowed for the emotion to flow freely through her.

She could no longer hold back.

"Kid," whispered Alex, tenderly into Piper's ear as she automatically wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her slightly towards her.

Piper stiffened slightly at Alex's sudden touch but she didn't fight her off. She allowed for Alex to pull her towards her.

It didn't take long before Piper was crying into Alex's shoulder, her tears falling onto Alex's neck. Her hands clenching at the material of Alex's uniform.

Alex held Piper even closer to her, wrapping both arms around her thin frame. She didn't mind Piper's snotty nose against her skin or the tugging at her shirt collar. All that matter was that Piper was letting her in.

She just wanted to be Piper's wall of support.

* * *

Next chapter will be the last. Thanks for reading and please leave a review!

Julie


	5. Chapter 5

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

So this will be the last chapter. Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing and supporting this story.

P.S. I don't know if it was ever mentioned what Alex's mom name was on the show. So I made it up.

Enjoy!

* * *

It had been a week since Piper had gotten called into Caputo's office and told the news that her mother had passed away. And that's where she found herself again, exactly to the day.

She was seated once again on that uncomfortable chair looking at the balding middle age man.

Caputo was quiet and avoiding looking into her eye. She knew the news wasn't good. She didn't get granted permission to go to her mother's funeral, she just knew it. The funeral was tomorrow.

"It isn't good news is it?" whispered Piper, breaking the silence.

Caputo turned his head immediately and looked over at Piper at this. There was a sadness in his eyes. He looked on at her for a second longer before letting out a sigh. "I'm afraid not Chapman. Due to your previous incidents in SHU, you weren't granted permission," his voice was firm but also filled with compassion for Piper.

Piper felt the tears sting her eyes but she blinked them away. "I understand," she replied towards the CO. It hurt to hear but she knew her chances of being granted permission had been slim. She didn't say another word as she rose to her feet and left the office. She had nothing else to say to Caputo.

She didn't know where she was headed to as she walked out of the office and down the hallway. It was the middle of the afternoon. Everyone was at lunch. But she didn't have the heart to eat at the moment. Like so many times this week, she just wanted to be alone.

Well, not totally. There was a certain dark haired woman she wouldn't mind spending sometime with. After her break down in the library, Piper had tried not to depend on Alex. But Alex kept on seeking her out, making sure she was okay. Piper didn't know quite what to feel about Alex's sudden presence back in her life but she was trying not to question it, too much.

She knew that Alex would be waiting for her at lunch but she didn't feel like being with the others. Nicky had been kind to her after hearing about her mother's death but she didn't want their sympathy at the moment. She needed to digest this information first before she shared it with anyone else.

Piper headed towards the chapel.

* * *

"So are you and Chapman like an item again?" asked Nicky out of curiosity towards Alex. They were seated at their usual table in the cafeteria eating lunch.

Alex just shrugged her shoulders as her eyes looked away from the entrance to her friend. She was worried, Piper hadn't shown up for lunch like she said she would be. "We aren't an item. We are just friends." She replied in a quiet voice as her eyes once again drifted towards the door.

"Friends with bennies?" asked Nicky with an amused expression on her face. She was trying to lighten the mood.

"Shut up Nicky," snapped Alex suddenly at the blonde. "She just lost her fucking mother. I'm not going to take advantage of her!" Her voice was firm and filled with rage. Her eyes were dark as she continued to glare across the table at the other woman.

"Look, I'm sorry," apologized Nicky quickly. She hadn't meant to make Alex snap like that. She'd just wanted to make Alex laugh again.

Ever since Sunday, she had been in a rotten mood. Seeing Piper struggle through her pain, just brought back all those old feelings of Alex's mother death. Alex sighed as she dropped her gaze onto the surface of the table. She knew that Nicky didn't mean any harm. She knew she hadn't been the most easiest person to be around over the last couple of days. She just couldn't stop thinking about her own mother and how much she still missed her years after. And she knew Piper was fighting her off. But she didn't want Piper to have to go through this whole ordeal alone. She needed someone to support and lean on. She wanted to be that person.

No one should have to go through losing their mother on their own. She had and she wouldn't wish it on anyone. Especially, Piper. Yes, she'd been mad at her for leaving when she had all those years ago, when she had given Piper's name for a shorter sentence but so much had changed since then. She had fallen in love with the blonde yet again. She had gotten her heart broken soon after. But there was a connection there that couldn't be broken. No matter how hard both of them tried. They always came back to one another, no matter what.

And now that Alex knewthere was no Larry in the picture anymore. She wanted to be that person more then ever for Piper. She wanted to be her wall. Her listening board. She wanted to be her everything. Even if it was just for a short while. Even if they were just friends after all this. She didn't care. She just wanted to be there for Piper, even if it was only to hold her hand as she cried.

It was at least something.

* * *

It was Sister Ingalls who told Alex about Piper.

After work was finished for the day, everyone had gathered in the rec room to unwind. She was playing cards with Nicky, Morello and Big Boo, or trying to at least. She kept on thinking about Piper. She had walked passed the library after work to see if she was there. Taystee had told her that Piper hadn't shown up after lunch. Taystee had gone on to tell her briefly about the blonde getting called into Caputo office just before lunch had started.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," spoke Sister Ingalls in her natural quiet tone, as she placed a hand on Alex's shoulder. Everyone at the table stopped what they were doing and looked towards the nun. "But I think your needed in the chapel dear."

Alex locked eyes with Sister Ingalls, a look of understanding passed between them.

"The chapel?!" asked Big Boos booming voice. "What got yourself a hot date or something Vause!" Everyone knew the chapel was the place to go to hook up in. Both Alex and Sister Ingalls glared at Big Boo at this.

"What?" asked Big Boo, innocently. Her eyes looked around the table at the other. She didn't know what she had said that was wrong. Nicky just rolled her eyes at her, shaking her head in shame. Morello just shrugged her shoulders and down casted her eyes onto her cards. No one decided to clue her in. They just ignored her before returning back to the game.

Not Alex though. She didn't say anything as she placed her cards onto the table and stood up. She thanked Sister Ingalls, placing a kind hand on her shoulder before making her way out of the room.

* * *

She found Piper in the same place she had been before. She was seated in the first row of seats, staring up at the stage. Alex walked slowly towards her.

Neither spoke a word to each other as Alex took the empty seat beside her.

Piper glanced briefly, over at Alex before looking away. She didn't have to ask how she knew where to find her. Sister Ingalls, who'd been there previously with her must had told her to come. She could feel Alex's green eyes boring into her but she kept on looking a head. She wasn't in the mood to talk about it yet.

And Alex didn't push her.

The two women just sat there in the quietness of the chapel for a moment or two. Silent tears ran down Piper's face as she continued to cry into herself. She let out the odd sniffle or sob here and there. But other then that, not a word was spoken.

Alex, desperately wanted to reach out and brush away the tears from Piper's eyes. It broke her heart all over again to see her like this. She just wanted to take her in her arms and kiss away all the pain and sorrow from her eyes. She hated the distance between them. Piper was slowly taking down the walls she had built around her but it wasn't enough for Alex. She wanted more. But she knew she couldn't push her. Piper had to let her in on her own time.

And when she did let Alex, fully back into her arms, she would never let her go.

Alex continued to study the profile of Piper's face. She wanted her to look at her. However, Piper continued to look away.

Alex pursed her lips together at this. She didn't know if she should say something or not. She knew that Piper had probably heard it all, already. There was nothing anybody could say that would make her feel better at the moment. Nothing took that kind of pain away. Only time could. Words were just words. They usually only made the person who spoke them feel better.

Alex's eyes then fell onto Piper's hands which was resting palm up on her knee. Her eyes studied the lines of it like a map. She then shifted her eyes towards Piper's face again. She was still crying silently to herself. Alex closed her eyes briefly as she quickly counted to three before reaching out suddenly and taking her hand into her own. Her eyes fluttered open and immediately looked over at Piper, who was still looking at the stage.

However, she didn't pull away from Alex either. Piper curled her fingers around Alex's as she squeezed it gently back. Alex then brought her hand up to her lips and kissed her knuckles. She wanted to let her know she was here. She then lowered her hand and placed it on her own lap. Her fingers gently caressing the lines of Piper's palm.

If she couldn't hold Piper at least she could do was hold her hand. Like the Beatles' song, she just wanted to hold her hand.

As they continued to sit there, Alex found herself talking. She didn't know what had triggered it but once she started, she couldn't seem to stop. She'd never really talked about her mom's passing with anyone really. Especially with Piper. But that's what she found herself doing. Talking about the incredible woman her mother had been.

"My mom's name was Suzie. I don't think I ever told you that. Suzie Vause. Badass Suzie Vause, or that's at least what my dad had described her as back in the day, when she had been one of his groupies for his band. Anyways, my mom was awesome. I wish you had gotten to meet her Pipes. I always had the intention to do so but you know, it was never that easy with my job and such. Shit happened. But you would have loved her Pipes. And I know you would had loved her too! She was Badass Suzie Vause!" she smirked at these last words. Her mom had been badass. Way more badass then all those other mothers of the kids she knew growing up. Despite being poor and the teasing she got for it. She loved the way her mom had been. She made everyday an adventure in away. She had taught Alex how to be independent and not to rely on others. Her mother had taught her how to be cool. Tears brimmed Alex's eyes as she thought back to all the good times in her life. There had been a lot of shitty ones too. But her mom always knew how to made it better. Her mom had taught her not to take no for an answer and when something didn't work out, you tried again. She taught her to be a hard worker and to go after what she wanted.

A stray tear ran down her cheek but she quickly blinked the other ones away. She needed to remain strong. She didn't want Piper to think she was making this about herself again. She didn't want to rub anything in Piper's face. She just wanted to tell her about the amazing woman her mother had been.

"In that year that I was traveling the world with you, our relationship strained a little. My mom didn't understand why I couldn't come home and see her on her birthday or mother's day. She didn't know about the drug business. And I didn't want her too. She had raised me to be better than that. She had wanted me to do better then she had. She thought I worked as some international art dealer. That's were she thought I got all that money from to live the way I did and to send her lavish gifts. I was nearing my thirties and I think she wanted me to settle down. To live in one place for more than a month. To find someone and maybe have a kid or two. I dunno," she shrugged her shoulders at this. She didn't like to think about the past and think about what she should or could have done differently. It didn't really matter now. It wouldn't have mattered in the end if she had gone home to her small town, her mother's still would have died of a brain hernia.

"After, I returned to the states. I didn't know what to do with myself. My aunt had arranged most of the funeral before I even got there. I was a mess. You had left me. My mom was gone. I felt like I had no one left," her voice cracked at this. All those old feelings of abandon-ness coming back. Those had been such dark days in her life. "You know I couldn't get through the entire funeral with out being drunk. I started off the day with a drink and by the time it was to go to the church, I'd drank a full bottle of Jack Daniel's. I had been a fucking mess!"

Still holding onto Piper's hand, Alex with her free hand lifted her glasses off of her face and wiped her eyes. She glanced over at Piper, through the corner of her eye. Piper had her full attention now. Alex gave her a small smile.

"I'm sorry, I left you that day," whispered Piper, her voice filled with emotion as she looked up at Alex.

Alex opened her mouth to protest at this. She didn't want Piper to apologize. That's not why she brought up her mother. She had just wanted to open the lines of communication between them.

"Pipes, " she whispered as she turned around in her seat to face Piper better. "Don't apologize."

"No Al, let me talk," argued back Piper, shaking her head violently back and forth. "I didn't understand what you were going through. I couldn't understand the pain you were going through until now. I had been so naive back then in Paris. All I could see was myself and my needs." A fresh set of tears rolled down her cheeks at this.

Alex didn't say anything as she put her glasses back onto the bridge of her nose. She then slowly, reached out and brushed a tear away from Piper's cheek. A moment of silence then fell over the two of them as Piper leaned into Alex and rested her head on her shoulder.

"This sucks ass," whispered Piper, "It fucking sucks ass."

"I know it does, kid," replied back Alex, leaning her head against Piper's and giving her hand a squeeze.

* * *

Thanks for reading!

Julie


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